So You Want to Date the Band

***Be warned - this is a photo heavy post. All images are my own unless stated otherwise. If you use them, please give me credit. These are all iPhone photos, so they're a little grainy***

There's always the exciting allure of a new relationship, and there's always been some extra "wow" factor when you tell someone your boyfriend (or girlfriend) is in (or works with) a band. 

In light of Warped Tour starting this week, I thought it was the right time to pull the shade back and give you a little bit of reality behind dating a guy with this "cool" job.

I took this photo in Montreal during sound check. This is Dustin, he's in August Burns Red.

I took this photo in Montreal during sound check. This is Dustin, he's in August Burns Red.

Warped Tour. Be prepared to lose your significant other for the ENTIRE summer. Yes, that's right. The time of year when you actually want to leave the house (Ontario winters leave something to be desired!) and plan adventures - yah, that's gone. All day everyday at a music festival may sound awesome from the outside, but image being stuck in a dusty (sometimes muddy) field all summer long with a bunch of teenagers and nothing else to really do. It's not referred to as "adult summer camp" for nothing. 

August Burns Red, Kevin and Jade & Ricky doing their jobs (tech, sound & lights)

August Burns Red, Kevin and Jade & Ricky doing their jobs (tech, sound & lights)

Brent doing his thing.  

Brent doing his thing.  

Tours in General. They can last anywhere from 2-8 weeks. They can be Across America, Canada, Mexico, Europe or Australia/New Zealand. You end up spending a lot of time on Face Time and texting. Make sure you have a great phone plan, you're gonna need it. 

 

Timing (Time Zones, Schedules, Life). It's sometimes really hard to connect with each other while they're gone because they work on a totally different schedule than you do. I'm awake at 7am and he goes to bed at 3. I go to bed at 10 and they're just starting their set at night, so often I'm sleeping when he's done working and can finally chat with me. 

Photo sent from Kevin of the guys goofing around on a couch they took on stage (after I went to bed of course!).

Photo sent from Kevin of the guys goofing around on a couch they took on stage (after I went to bed of course!).

Going on Tour. If you're lucky enough to join them out on a tour for a couple days, you must be prepared to sit around a lot and wait. Most girls I know HATE this. I really don't mind, because I became close to the guys in the bands Kevin works for. You should also be prepared for the overwhelming smells. 10 guys living on a bus for weeks? Yah, even the cleanest people can't escape the smells that come from that living arrangement.

They sleep in bunks.  Mattresses smaller than singles and if you try to share, say hello to hip and back pains for as long as you're there. Sometimes you can score an empty bunk, but that's very rare with most bands. They love having a "junk bunk" and don't really like to clean it out for you to sleep in.

But in all seriousness, most girls don't think about being on tour this way - They're at work, this is their job and as much as they love you, you don't come first on tour. If you can accept that fact, then things are okay - if not, you're going to be miserable. 

Having a boyfriend (or in cases of many of my friends husbands) that live and work this way is definitely a compromise, that you can't have a normal relationship, trying to explain to older family members what they do isn't going to make sense, or that you have to attend a lot of functions alone isn't the end of the world. Because of their careers you get some really amazing perks too - I've met SO many amazing people because of it. Hell, I met HIM because of it. I've travelled across the US to some really great places because of his job, I've been able to explore on my own things I love and he wouldn't want to do. 

Thanks to Kevin I've met some truly beautiful ladies, like Kate!

Thanks to Kevin I've met some truly beautiful ladies, like Kate!

..And Lindsay, Arie & Christy.

..And Lindsay, Arie & Christy.

Especially this little guy, Lindsay & Brent's son Nash.

Especially this little guy, Lindsay & Brent's son Nash.

It's basically a long distance relationship. If you expect things to be good, you have to put in the work. Make time to talk to each other, it's little things like the "I miss you" texts, or pictures out with friends to let them know you're thinking about them. The time you have, you make it count!

Spending as much time as we can together when he's home (or we're traveling together!)

Spending as much time as we can together when he's home (or we're traveling together!)

At our friends Andrew & Aleksa's wedding. Thankfully he was home to come with me!

At our friends Andrew & Aleksa's wedding. Thankfully he was home to come with me!

Giving Justin & Katie the first beer of their wedding weekend!

Giving Justin & Katie the first beer of their wedding weekend!

Maybe I made this sound really amazing, maybe it doesn't sound "so bad", and it's really not the end of the world, but I'm not going to lie to you, it sucks a lot of the time. I'm happy he's happy doing what he loves, but man, what I wouldn't give for him to have a 9-5 sometimes. The reality is, he wouldn't make it in my world anymore than I would make it in his. WE work together because we meet in that overlap, the bridge we've built to blend our worlds together, and it's perfect for us. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Integrating Kevin into my friendships. My best friends became his!

Integrating Kevin into my friendships. My best friends became his!

Casual night out with Brent & Dustin after a show in Chicago when I was able to visit a tour.

Casual night out with Brent & Dustin after a show in Chicago when I was able to visit a tour.

Late night happenings!  

Late night happenings!  

So if you're reading this and you're planning on going to Warped Tour this summer, keep an eye out for Kevin, he's working with August Burns Red all summer long. Go say hi, and give him a little hug for me! 

Random search of ABR Warped Tour shot - no name attached. I believe it was screen capped from a video, but all links lead nowhere. 

Random search of ABR Warped Tour shot - no name attached. I believe it was screen capped from a video, but all links lead nowhere. 

- CarlyBellexo